GarySargent

To both ladies & gentlemen,

The road to my fiances PCOS started about 2 years ago when I encouraged her to see a doctor regarding her frequently absent periods [she had been dealing with these since puberty]. Unfortunately, her doctor failed to diagnose her condition and merely perscribed a different type of birth control pill to her and left it at that. To make matters worse my fiance, [I'll call her Laura to keep things simple], more or less came away from the appointment feeling "problem solved" and failed to get a second opinion. Her periods came and went very abnormally for another 6 months and it wasn't until I pushed her again she finally went to see a second doctor.

The second doctor, thankfully, conducted blood work and ultrasound scans diagnosing Laura with PCOS. On the downside, he too, offered a different type of birth control pill and asked her to come back in a year. I remember clearly her coming back from the appointment telling me she had a condition called PCOS and she had a new pill from her doctor that would take care of her periods. She had an overwhelming sense of relief and pushed on with life as "business as usual." As for myself, I was concerned and immediately went out and purchased every book on PCOS I could find. It took me about 3 weeks but I finished reading them all and realized Laura was in a for a rougher ride than she realized.

Over the next few months I started to encourage Laura to read some of these books as they had much different and important information about her PCOS condition. My encouragement turned to constant reminders and ultimately to nagging when she failed to ever read any of the material or even consider some of what I was telling her about treating her condition 1. Seeing an endincrinologist, 2. Exercising, 3. Eating right, 4. Stopping smoking, etcetera. That went on for about a year, last year.

That year was a very tough one for us. Laura's condition was obviously getting worse to anyone who could see it. She was gaining weight, became more lethargic overall, oversleeping, being unmotivated, becoming more anti-social, constantly plucking chin-hair, developing adult acne and all of the other symptoms I had read about. Despite her worsening symptoms Laura went on with an ignorance is bliss attitude while I began to get bitter and started struggling with the effects these symptoms were having on our day to day life. Instead of being with a fun, energetic, well kept, 25 year old beauty I found myself with a nasty, slothful, unkept, old woman. Her appearance, the way she kept herself, her actions, her moods (boy oh boy), her energy, her social drive, her sex drive... just everything about her had changed from the woman I knew... literally before my eyes... and again, she seemed unwilling to do anything about it. Sigh.

It wasnt until this past winter when she gained another 25lbs in two months (she doesn't eat healthy but she doesnt overeat) that I think the lightbulb finally went on in her head [when this all started she was 5'5" and 140lbs, now she is 185lbs]. Although it seemed she started to understand she had a condition she still balked at doing anything about it (did not excercise, didn't read the books I'd bought, etc, etc). She fell in to a depression which really changed our relationship further. I finally had to take matters in to my own hands and scheduled a Endicrinologist appointment for her. Two weeks ago we finally recieved her blood work and everything came back normal except her Testosterone levels (118 ng/dl area) and LH/FSH ratio (about 3 to 1). The endicronologist put her on 1000mg/day metformin and asked her to come back in 2 months so they could re-test the levels. [Although he did take action it was disappointing the doctor had a tinge of the attitude that Laura is 25 and her hair growth, weight problems were not that big of a problem and that other women had it far worse than she did and that any mention of her mood/depression/etc is just 'one of those things'] Despite this, I walked out of that appointment relieved both for Laura (she finally seemed like she realized she had something and it could be dealt with) and for myself. I feel like this condition of PCOS has changed the person I fell in love with 4 years ago to someone I dont recogize anymore and this Rx was a step in the right direction of "getting her back". You see, when I first met Laura she was fun, energetic, outgoing, fit, self confident, etc. Today she is moody, tired, anti-social, overweight, and just plain nasty to be around. I don't recognize her.

My initial elation and what seemed like I was finally getting through to Laura quickly faded. Over the last two weeks she has been taking her Met but nothing else. It is as if she thinks this pill will solve everything and thats it. She wont read any of the books, log on to this posting nor has she made an effort to change her diet or begin excercising. She talks about these things yes... and it has only been two weeks... but inside my head I'm screaming "What in the heck are you waiting for!!??, DO SOMETHING!".

Any husband or father or fiance or boyfriend out there living with someone with PCOS may understand the frustration I am going through. I'm literally on my last leg and ready to give up altogether on us and our relationship and it ticks me off that its all because of this damned PCOS! Where is the woman I once knew? I don't know. I read all of the posts on this website and I see the horrible frustration and pain this condition causes women personally yet I see each of them wanting to push forward and take control of it the best they can. I look at Laura and I just don't see that glimmer. It's been over 18 months since we started this road. Am I missing something here? How can I help her... how can I help her understand that this PCOS has taken so much from us already why let it take more. I know I can't do it for her... I just don't know what to do. I'm willing to go the distance with her but faced with someone that doesn't seemingly want to try my will to "hang in there" is getting thin. Does anyone [men or women] have any suggestions?

Signed, Hopeless.