Gary,
I have to say, your knowledge of PCOS was very shocking to me! Good for you for taking the time to educate yourself and being so aware of your fiance's condition. Also, I was very impressed with your writing skills... I on the other hand, am not so blessed.
But being a guy I thought I'd give you my thoughts.
Does "Laura" have anyone to talk about PCOS with other than you? I'm sure she is aware that she has gone through changes and it may be difficult for her to discuss it with you because the changes affect the way she looks to you and are sure to make her feel very self consious.
If you possibly can, try to get her to come to this board. All these women are in the same boat. They all have different experiences and they share them. There is always something to learn because they all have different health providers who may know what the heck they are talking about, unlike the doctors my wife has had to deal with. It's definitely a huge network of knowledge here.
On that note:
You may want to rethink your post if she does plan on visiting this board!
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Instead of being with a fun, energetic, well kept, 25 year old beauty I found myself with a nasty, slothful, unkept, old woman.
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I'm sure if she saw what you wrote.... it would bring her to tears and do huge damage to your relationship! Please don't think that I am trying to flame you. I was just pretty shocked when I read that.
I'm not sure how to put this.... but chances are "Laura" may never appear the way she did when you met her. Metformin isn't a cure for PCOS nor was it designed for PCOS. Taking Met along with diet and many other things simply help control PCOS.
Like "Laura's" doctor told her.... Many other women have it far worse than she does. I would bet many ladies on this board would be overjoyed to be a mere 185 pounds!
"Laura" is depressed I'm sure. She has changed physically and I'm sure she is perfectly aware of it. She knows she isn't the person you met. She knows your taste in women. This has to really mess with her. It can easily make the situation worse if she is feeling so bad about herself.
Be very careful how you treat her. Show her how much you love her. Tell her you enjoy her sexually. Do everything you can to make her feel beautiful. Then gently encourage her to take the steps she needs to better herself, even if it takes awhile. No one likes to hear negative things about themselves, especially if they are depressed to begin with. And watch the nagging!!! I hate to be nagged. Often nagging leads to the exact opposite results.
Consider altering your diet and exercising with her. Before my son was born, I low-carbed with my wife to give her support (even though I'm slender) and I wound up in great shape and got my six-pack back!
Take a moment and try to see how you interact with her. You are obviously very frustrated. I might even say resentful. Maybe not to her directly, but definitely to PCOS. If you accidently say, or insinuate some of the opinions you've posted about, you can really hurt her, making her situation even more hopeless.
I'm very worried that you may never get over her physical changes. You seem pretty disgusted by the way you described things. I'm hoping that I am wrong and you love her unconditionally and see the person inside that you fell in love with.
Just my two cents.