Absolutely make a memory box...youre not 'a weirdo' and its a wonderufl way to aknowledge that even for a little while your baby was here. I got mine from the hospital after my girls were born, and its so crammed full i cant even open it cuz i wont be able to get every thing inside it again. I even kept the product info for the double stroller i was going to buy for them...its sitting proudly in my dining room with a picture and bowl of dried flower petals from their memorial service, and a little pewter box with their remains.
For a long time i couldnt look at it but knew it was there...it got a little easier everyday.
...why dont you write your baby a letter? Why dont you write down everything your feeling, thinking, and wishing for. Maybe accidentally leave it lying around for your hubby to see before packing it in your box? I did that...i even wrote a letter to God and asked him why he made Mother Nature so B?!@#Y ? you really need dhs support right now...and he doesnt have a clue whats going inside your head...dont get caught up in resenting the fact you have to tell him...just tell him in any way you can!
And whatever you do...get the support you need in a postive way from somewhere...thats what the cysters here are so good at...you are going to have triggers that set you off everytime...for me its cranberry juice (i tried desperately to stop the infection by drinking it..it didnt work
) Dont be ashamed or scared of those feelings...they are part of the healing.
This is so raw for you right now...dont isolate yourself even if your hubby isnt there for you right now...you keep posting here as often as you need to...soulcysters were a Godsend for me...take care...