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Sarah E. · 10-01-2004, 09:46 PM

I dream for a child of my own. I have waited a lifetime for a baby. My baby. I have an idea what you may look like. I see brown curly hair, green eyes and probably tall like my husband and myself. I see big cheeks and beautiful red lips. A chubby belly and a juicy gummy smile. I see a child who will be loved and nutured and protected. I miss you and we haven't even met. I have regrets. I wish I could have made it more possible to have started working for you earlier. But the man God blessed me with was introduced to me when I was a week shy of my 33rd birthday. That was God's plan. I prayed for my DH and I was blessed beyond belief. Lord knows how my heart hurts when I see my DH with his nephews and I see how loving and nuturing he is. I get panicked when I wish that he was holding our child instead. Sometimes I do not feel like a complete woman . The hair on my face, having 1 AF on my own per year!! The shin tags, the big gut . I ask many times why me and realize that self pity is pointless. I hear so many stories of PCOS women like myself having babies and think to myself - Could that ever happen to me? I would like to hear of stories of womenwho are like me who have overcome the odds. I am happy for you all. I ask that if I am not meant to have a baby that I can get peace. Also, that I can forgive myself.