Wishing&Hoping

Ever have a nightmare turn around be ok in the end?

Thats what happend to me just now. I was having this god awful nightmare and this is how it started:

I was in a grocery store and came across some chocolate cookies with peanut butter in the center with chocolate drizzled over the top and I was like oh honey can I have just one. He went over and grabbed some, but turned around and said to me don't you think you are eating one of these. You can't!. So I was really upset, he would never say something like that because; that is not how he is at all.

We went to the cars in the parking lot only there were two cars, and his "imaginary" parents. He got into the car with his dad and I got into another car with his mother. Well we started driving down the road and this woman was attached to the outside of my door trying to get in. I was freaked out and opend the door while my "imaginary MIL" was driving. The woman clinged to my door had this look of horror on her face and was screaming something at me. I slammed the car door back shut and locked it. She was gone.

But on the way home I noticed neer our house there were children playing outside side. I was stunned because it was late at night, I think it was like 9/10pm in my dream. They were all next to the road playing with there toys; running around with no shoes or shirts on. I felt horrible for them because of the weather.

I asked my MIL what they were doing out so late, and she told me they were the feral children. I was like isnt' there anything someone can do to help them. She just told me no that they just are the wild children that live here. I asked about there schooling. I was generally concerned about their welfare and education. But she kept driving.

We pull up to this old farm house looking house. It was night, the stars were out and I can swear I could taste and feel the crisp air on my face. It was early winter. We walked up the stairs opend the first screen door and then walked into the kitchen setting the groceries down.

I remember my fil talking to me about something and then I went to the bathroom. I was in my pj's now getting ready for bed. After a short good night to everone DH and I went to bed.

I was tossing and turning in my dream, I just couldn't sleep. I felt like something was wrong. I kept thinking about those children I seen on the side of the road. I wanted to do something for them. I couldnt' understand a community that lets children live on the side of the road. I couldnt' understand why they didn't just build a small school for them if they were going to stay wild, or a small cabin in the woods for them to stay warm in.

I went outside to get a breath of fresh air. It went down my lungs, cold. I blew out and remember seeing my breath. With a smile, and feeling cold, I turned around and walked back inside and went to bed.

Morning came and I went to where I seen the children. THere toys were still out and I could see a few girls playing dolls in the woods. I noticed a tree fort and decided to climb up it. When I go up it looked like a small school. I was angry and started yelling. I wanted to know what type of education these children had, what teaching crudentials the "teachers" had. And I demanded to see them.

Everything turned out to be ligit. The teachers were actully teachers, and were actully teaching them. The children actully got good grades for being taught in a tree fort. I turned away just stunned. I could have sworn that these children were better off in a public school but they seemed content. I couldnt' understand how our worlds clashed so drastically and yet they were fine with the way they lived.

I left for home. Night fell again, same weather it was cold with just enough crisp in the air to take in the air and feel refreshed. I went to bed with my DH again, but woke from something. I had the same feeling again; something was wrong. It couldnt' have been the children because after looking they were fine. I put on my bathrobe and walked towards the porch. I opend the door and stepped outside. The moon was bright. I could see my breath again. It was like dejavu. Only this time I had my two cats near me. I picked one up and started petting it. Then in the corner of my eye I noticed two wolves staring at me from behind the fence. I didnt' panic because I didn't want to the cats to run away. So I just picked up the other cat and brought it in the house.

Then I paniced. My heart was racing really face and I got scared. There faces inprinted into my memory. It wasn't there teeth that scared me it was there souless pitch black eyes. They didnt' show teeth or growl like you imagine. They were calm, sitting but staring, watching, observing me. That scared me. I crawled back into bed with my DH to get warm and shake that feeling off. If anyone could calm me down it would be him.

He hugged me. And I fell asleep. It couldn't have been much longer because I stired, and reawoke. Same feeling something was wrong. But it had a deeper feeling. Like the knots in my stomach were just tighting. Same routine. I put on my bathrobe, slippers, and started to walk outside. But when I approched the door I noticed it was open. I ran and swung it open. I noticed the door to the cellar was also open. So I ran down stairs and started calling my cats names "Crabby and Diesel" over and over again. They weren't coming out from anywhere. I was crying and panicing. I knew I must have not shut the door because I was so afraid, they must have wondered outside. Oh No the wolves. So I ran outside and stand on the outside deck. I look over to where the wolves were. They were not there this time. At least I could not see them if they were.

I was calling for my cats. Then I heard the wolves in the wolves tearing away at something. Then I heard a cat cry. I started bawling my eyes out. I dropped to my knees and just let the snow under my felt away from my tears taht were dropping upon it. Then I heard a child start yelling at the wolve to put down the cat. It just kept tearing, and the cat cry wasn't anymore.

I stood up and called one last time. When out of the corner of my eye I see my cat come out from the cupboard and do his stretch lifting his paw in the air with a big yawn. I grab him and hold him tightly in my arms still crying. Thats when it sunk in taht was DH's cat that must of got outside because I only had my cat. I had a horrible feeling of guilt run through me, and I cried even more. But just then she came out of nowhere and just sat next to me like nothing was wrong.

I grabbed her and this time I made sure I closed the doors because I locked them behind me. I sat the cats on the kitchen floor....And woke up from my dream.

The first thing I did when I woke up was did a quick glance of my bedroom to see if they were next to me. One was next to me, the other was layng on my headboard. I reached up and just ran my hand over her. I tried to wake my DH because it was scary but he was in a dead sleep and wouldnt' wake up. So I decided to get online and write it down before I forgot.

I started thinking about this dream and what it could mean. I've never in my life had a nightmare turn out good in the end. Or even woke up at the end of the dream. Even though i'm sure it was the end because everything worked out. What were the hidden messages in it? What was my dream telling me.

I know I broke down and told DH some old skeletons in my closet that were eating at me. Maybe the wolves were just the old me moving on going to somebody else. Maybe it was the old me scarying me one last time. Oddly I felt a feeling of relif. Thats why I think it was just something inside me moving on. But who knows I could be wrong, maybe their was no meaning. Maybe it was just an odd dream. Or maybe it was something inside of me dying.

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