Joe, I think it is great that you have gone to such lengths to help your wife. She must be a lucky gal!
PCOS can be very confusing & frustrating for any woman because just as you wanted to know what was going on with her body, so does she! She may be so confused herself about the whole thing (even if she's had it for years) that she finds it difficult to talk about... difficult to put it into words or even know where to start.
Another thing to keep in mind is that some of the symptoms of PCOS can be really embarrasing for women to deal with. Weight, acne, hair growth, hair loss, infertility - even though you are her husband & you love her no matter what, she may still feel too embarrased to want to talk about it.
Every woman deals with PCOS in her own way. I am a MOTORMOUTH to my husband about PCOS... he'd probably ask you how to get me to shut up! JK She may have many reasons for not wanting to talk about it. She may be embarrased about her symptoms, maybe she just grew up in family where personal things like this weren't talked about, maybe she thinks you wouldn't understand, who knows.
I think all you can do is be patient with her. Let her know you are there if she needs to talk but don't be too pushy or try to pry info out of her. She may be building up the courage to talk to you so you just need to create the best environment where she feels comfortable to do so. The best thing my husband does when I don't feel good or I don't feel like talking about something is to say "I really don't understand how you are feeling but I want you to know that I'm here for you anyway for whatever you need".
Don't feel like you aren't doing enough for her. As long as you are showing her that you are concerned for her, that you love her, & that you care about how she is feeling then you are already doing something for her. She may be finding comfort in what you do for her even if it doesn't seem so to you. Good luck to you & your wife! Come back with any questions you have & we'll try to help.
