 Starting to feel depressed
Its been a while since I've been here and since my last visit, my wife had a fight over sex. My wife was diagnosed with the "curse" a couple of years ago; however, thinking back and knowing what I know now, she's had the "curse" for the last 6.5 years. Over that period of time, I had noticed that her sex drive was in steady decline. She doesn't participate in sex anymore, just lays there. But it was never like that before the curse. She seems to think that her level of activity was because she was young and stupid. The fact is that she just doesn't touch me during sex anymore and its been like this for a long time.
Well, to be honest with everyone - I'm not a saint. I've become very bitter, very angry, and very resentful and I'm ashamed to say that I have taken this frustration out on her. I'm not physically abusive and I will never lay a hand on her. But I have said things that are hurtful and I have searched for a "f***k buddy" and had some interest but never followed through on it.
My wife has admitted that she has no sex drive and has said that all I think about is sex. But I don't think I'm obsessed - I miss the intimacy we used to share. It now takes her forever to have an orgasm when at one time it was easy. My wife's "no drive" and the symptoms that go along - no touching, no oral. When we had our last fight a week ago she said that our sex life is no different than that of any other couple's. Is she right? Is it normal for a wife to completely ignore her husband's sexual needs? I've never asked her to do anything that she hasn't done before.
Do I need to lower my expectations and accept the fact that for the rest of marriage will consist of 3 kisses, a push away, me performing oral sex, she having an orgasm, intercourse, sex?
I'm only hearing from the cycsters out there. What about you mysters? Are any of you experiencing this? How are you dealing with it, how are you coping? Will it get any better or should I seek out a surrogate lover as my wife suggests?
I don't feel like a man anymore because I can't get my wife aroused and its killing me. |