I'm not sure I can deal with this anymore. Its been 3 weeks since my wife and I shared any real intimacy. I'm so tired of the mixed messages I'm getting. MY wife gave me permission to sleep with other women because of what she admits to be her "no sex drive." Despite having permission I don't think I could ever do it and I've communicated this to her. I love her deeply and I feel so selfish. But I don't want to have sex with other people and she can't see that.
Who am I kidding. Its been almost 3 weeks since we've done anything intimate. Everytime I've tried to initiate I've been pushed away and rejected. Last night I was pushed away once again. As I was driving to work this morning I started thinking about giving up and leaving her. I can't handle living with and loving someone anymore who doesn't love me in return. Maybe that's what she needs - for me to leave her so she can finally appreciate what she has. Let me reprhase that. What she had.
I can't do this anymore. I can no longer handle being cut off for no reason that I know of and be accused of cheating when I'm doing everthing that I can to stay out of situations where I might be tempted to stray.
She's destroying our marriage and right now I hate her for that.