I've been avoiding posting in this thread because well quite frankly my opinion will probably cause flames, but as I get more and more frustrated and after your last post Neechogan, I just have to speak up.
I am not male. I know sex drive is a BIG thing for most guys and I am so trying to look at it from your point of view but no matter how I do, I'm sorry but to me you do sound selfish. You are thinking of leaving your wife because you haven't had sex in 3 weeks?? Wow. Most of your posts have been along these lines. You say you hate what it's done to your wife because it's causing her to have self esteem issues, low sex drive etc. etc. which all boils down to you not getting any sex. Your sexual needs are not being met. I know it can cause the breakdown of many a relationshipand is a very important part of a relationship but man you married this woman for a reason, was that reason sex?
You said in your last post
"I can't handle living with and loving someone anymore who doesn't love me in return".
I'm just wondering if she's told you that she doesn't love you? Just because she doesn't feel like sex does not mean she doesn't love you. It might seem like that to a guy, but trust me sex is not the be all and end all. As for your comment about avoiding places where you might be tempted to stray....blech are you really that shallow and disrespectful and hard up to even consider that?
Can't you just go have a tug or something? I don't think you're a saint. Searching for a f&^% buddy is disgusting I am offended for your wife. So she isn't the sex kitten she was when you first met. So what? Please tell me she has other qualities that you find attractive. At least you realize that calling her a frigid b*&^% or whatever it was is so wrong. You have done a lot of damage and you will have to make up for that if you want to stay in this marriage.
Your wife needs some space, she probably does feel like crap and the last thing she wants is you pawing her. I would say she does need counselling, suggest it to her, tell her you will go too, tell her you want to understand. I really don't think she wants you to go get it somewhere else, I think she is angry that sex is all you seem to want and if it's so important to you, and she isn't, go do it.
Take the focus off the lack of sex and that will turn the pressure down considerably. Tell her you are going to support her until she feels better and beyond, tell her you are not giving up on her, you love her and you will be there for her. She very well might have
depression, have her get that checked. However much you are suffering because of PCOS, take it from me, she is having a WAY less fun time. Even if she pushes you away, keep telling her you're not giving up, she needs to hear it. Until she tells you she doesn't love you, wants a divorce etc. then you cannot give up. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but it's not all about you. It could be a long process, and a lot of hard work, I guess you need to ask yourself if you're up to it. For better or for worse.