 Misunderstood
I first came to this discussion board looking for support from other husbands and boyfriends of PCOS sufferers who are having difficulty dealing with the changes in their partners. I have looked everywhere and found nothing except a site where a thread started for men is frequented by women.
I am looking for information and support so i can be a better husband. Unfortunately this has become my forum for crying in public. I'm literally blinded by tears whenever I upload a post here. I don't know how to deal with my wife's mood swings, my heart breaks because my dead beat dad of a brother keeps having kids when my wife and I can't and yes, I struggle because my wife not only has no sex drive but avoids all other forms of intimacy. I don't get hugged or kissed anymore. My wife doesn't hold my hand anymore. My wife doesn't like to cuddle anymore.
If people were to read my posts, they would see that I am concerned about more than just sex. I am sorry for being human. I know that I have made mistakes. Who are you to judge me? Walk a mile in my shoes. Try to understand how I feel. How would you feel if your partner just completely stopped being affectionate with you? My wife says that she loves me but from her actions you would think that she was my sister and not my wife.
From what I have learned through my research, this f****ing curse affects women differently. There are commonalities and yes, my wife has them all. Insulin resistence, excess weight, excessive hair growth. Sadly for us, her biggest symptom is the hormone imbalance that has caused her to avoid all forms of intimacy. I'm sorry if I am having trouble dealing with the fact that my wife doesn't touch me anymore and hasn't for 7 years. I have been struggling with this for a long time and I am sorry that my frustration has been vocalized.
I have done everything that I can think of to be supportive of my wife. I am always telling her how beautiful she is and how important she is to me and our daughter. I have bared my soul and begged her to take her meds. I have taken over some of her share of the household chores so that she can go to the gym more often (something she has always wanted to do). Most importantly, each and everyday I tell her how much I love her and how she means everything to me.
I once asked the question "Am I being selfish for wanting a normal, healthy sex life with my wife?" Most people here responded "no." So what is it then? PCOS has robbed my marriage of intimacy. I realize that this might not be the case with everyone, but it is for us. I realize that passion cools off a bit in marriage, in fact, I was expecting it. The passion in our marriage died nearly over night and intimacy died shortly after that. So, let me ask again - am I worng or selfish for wanting to have a healthy physical relationship with my wife?
Where are the men by the way. Why aren't they coming out? I notice that the men who have posted here have partners who post here as well and I'm starting to think that they aren't comfortable with really sharing because of the backlash they think they might get if they talked about the relationship issues PCOS has created.
I also suspect that a lot of men don't really care and aren't willing to post or talk about how they are feeling. After all - do you see any other guys posting here regularly. I care more than you may think. NO BODY HAS RESPONDED TO THE FACT THAT THE ASHLEY MADISON AGENCY (an online dating service that facilitates adultery) HAS A BANNER ON THIS THREAD. I think most of the men who have visited this site have given up and decided to cheat on their partners.
I really sorry for your partner wombat. I must be really touching on a raw nerve. What's the physical part of your relationship like?
I AM A HUMAN BEING WHO NEEDS TO BE LOVED AND DESPITE WHAT YOU BELIEVE WOMBAT, PHYSICAL INTIMACY IS PART OF THAT!!!!!
UNTIL YOU WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME!!!!!!!!!! |