I'm sorry that PCOS is affecting your life and I think your need of intamacy with your wife is valid. You did invite comments from cysters and mysters and I took details you provided into consideration before posting. It came across to me that it was all about sex, I understand better now because you explained about her refusing to hold your hand, cuddle, kiss etc. AND that it has been going on for 7 years or so, maybe I missed those details earlier. I'm really sorry you are suffering.
You said you are looking for support and information to help you become a better husband. F*&^ buddy searching will not help you become a better husband, cheating will not help you become a better husband and if you feel that I am judging you for that than I will not apologize. Sex with other people outside a marriage is the ULTIMATE insult and betrayal you can bestow upon your partner, especially when she is in such a bad place and while you may not have gone that far yet, you are playing with fire and coming dangerously close to doing so by your own admission. If this is what you want and if you care at all about your DW you are better off leaving her first in my opinion. What about your daughter, how would she feel if she knew you cheated on her Mum? What if she ends up suffering from PCOS, would you want her partner doing the things you are thinking about doing? Sounds judgemental? so be it. You asked if you are wrong or selfish for wanting a healthy relationship with your wife. My answer is absolutely not. But you are wrong if you want an unhealthy one night stand to satisfy your urges. Again this is my opinion. There is no excuse for being a sleaze.
As for that agency you mentioned I have never noticed it, didn't even know what it was until I caught a glimpse of Dr. Phil two days ago when he was discussing it. I don't know why it's advertised here, maybe ask Kat the owner of the board, she has a separate forum for questions called "ASK KAT" You seem really affected by it being here, yet you are thinking of doing the very thing that it condones. Is it tempting you too much? I think that most of the men who have visited this site would be offended that you think they have given up and gone and cheated on their partners.
When I suggested that you tell her you love her and will support her etc, I hope you didn't take that to mean that I didn't think you were already doing that, more that you should not give up, as a sufferer of the same syndrome your wife has, I know how important it is to hear those things, as you know we often have self esteem issues and doubts about our worthiness as a partner. Even if she doesn't respond positively, she hears it, she internalizes it.
As for the physical part of my relationship, well it could be better at the moment thanks for asking, but doing IVF puts a lot of pressure on that. There are restrictions and many embarrassing procedures and hormonal upheavals, which can kill desire, so I know where your wife is coming from, but you know, you find a way to cope. We still hold hands and kiss and cuddle, but not as much as usual, I admit I miss that, multiply it by about a million and I might be getting close to how you're feeling.
Look I AM sympathetic to your situation, really I am, but I have definite opinions when it comes to cheating, I just don't think it's an option and thats why I arked up and sound *****y about your posts. Do you think your relationship problems might go beyond PCOS? Seriously, I'm not being a smart arse, just asking. I think counselling is the answer for you. If not both of you then at least you. Go get it off your chest and get some professional advice. I really think your wife is depressed. I think you have a really good chance to fix this, don't throw it all away so you can get your rocks off.
One last thing, because you feel that I am judging you, please don't leave this forum, I will not harrass you anymore and there are others who can offer much to your plight. I hope the men do come and share their experiences with you, and I hope you find an answer, I wish you happiness and I do understand how much this is affecting you.
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