Pandora - I wish I had picked up this thread sooner, but I am really impressed with how well you have come to handle this. I think it is great that you let you son know that you accept him and if you have questions, there are many resources online and in the community you can turn to. I would guess that your son probably felt rejected initially, but your change of heart and sould searching has helped you be an amazing mother to him. And it is probably going to take him a little time to really believe that you are accepting (I mean, he is 17, and I didn't trust my parents 100% at age 17). Also, I'm thinking that might be why he doesn't necessarily open up to you so much - gay or not - he's a 17 year old boy. And not that I have a ton of experience with 17 year old boys, but I am guessing that is an age of independence and not telling your parents everything.
I agree that you should continue to talk to him openly and when you have questions, ask. But don't be offended if he rolls his eyes - he's 17, ya know? I also think you might benefit from a community organization which you may or may not have heard of. It's called PFLAG - Parents, Friends/Families of Lesbians and Gays. You will meet other parents there who have a lot of the same questions as you and you will meet parents who are farther along in the process of acceptance than you. And you will also meet gay people who are ready to answer your questions - ones that your son might not be ready to answer or might not be comfortable answering. And you might find that your soul searching and self discovery can be of as much help to another struggling parent as someone else's experience can be to you. And, you will likely meet people there who can help you learn to help your son through his struggle.
Anyway, I have probably gone on for too long. I truly commend you for taking the steps to let your son know he is loved and accepted. And I really think PFLAG would be a good local resource for you. Your son is lucky to have a mom who isn't afraid to show him unconditional love and seek outside counsel from people to deal with any of her own issues/struggles with the situation.
We need more moms like you in the world!
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Colton Paul
Born June 16, 2007
7lbs 9oz 18 inches long
TTC 9 Months-
Conceived on Second IUI Attempt with Clomid & Metformin
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