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mlinn · 02-28-2007, 06:53 PM

Ok....I will start out with a disclaimer. I am not an expert on the subject nor do I claim to be..but I will share my opinion anyway for what it is worth.

For me, most of the time I am very attracted to my boyfriend,but recently have not been acting that way. I know that I am still in love with him..but we have been arguing alot about alot of things...and since I am trying to close myself off emotionally..I feel like I have to shut down the physical attraction,too. Not that it is not there for me personally...just that I am TRYING to avoid it. He really actually has no clue what is going on in my life(which is my fault not his) - I just give him the rough overview.

So before you start wondering about the scientific aspect - why don't you start with the basics? Are you doing okay emotionally with this supposedly wonderful girl you are dating? Is there something that has been on your mind lately that you might not have shared with her or might be trying to hide? If so,there is a good explanation for why you might not be feeling as attracted to her as you think you should be. Is she feeling attraction to you? If not,she might have some emotional issues that you don't know about occuring and that could be effecting your couple chemistry, too. A good start might be talking about how the both of you are feeling.

I guess there could be some validity to your scientific evidences. There is a good possibilty of that.

Or I guess you could go along with a fellow older coworker of mine who read this who thinks you want to have your cake and eat it to. She said that maybe you aren't attracted to this girl at more than a friendship level because the majority of women on this forum are not your average size or whatever reason you want to add in here...If that is the case - then why don't we go with why are you stringing her along? What do you gain from that? Is it worth it to you? You know she was probably looking when she found you and believe it or not. If you don't have feelings for her, you should give her a fighting chance to find someone who will reciprocate her love. I am afraid you may lose this woman guywithquestions - then will you be where you want to be?

If not,I suggest two more things. Think about your life without her in it. If that is where you want to be....fine. If that is not where you want to be..try to do everything in your power to make it work.

You say you would marry this girl - but you feel no POTENT sexual attraction? That sounds like a bunch of hogwash to me. So you aren't saying you don't feel sexual attraction,just that the attraction you do feel is not POTENT?

I guess I am to old and have seen to many things in my life - but if I find a man who has all the qualities that you say this lovely young lady has - I would probably try to hold onto him myself. I guess maybe because I have worked in a nurse like setting for to long to think otherwise. Once you get old,you lose it all anyway,afraid to say. I hope that if you do decide that you just want to be friends with the wonderful girl you talked about....I hope you can find whatever it is you are looking for.

Proverbs 31:10 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.