Life and responsibilities have kicked up here recently, so I haven't been able to frequent the boards here for quite a while. Email is the best way to get ahold of me:
jason_d_griffith@yahoo.com
I haven't read all of the posts in this thread since there are 6 pages of them, but I've read a few here and there so I've got an idea of what's going on.
Dealing with the symptoms that my wife has really sucks sometimes, particularly the depression. Nothing sucks more than knowing there's a problem, wanting to fix it, and her getting upset at the fact that I'm trying to help and just wanting me to leave her alone.
As far as the sex life is concerned, we've gone almost three months without (more than once), and it really doesn't bother me that much. I was addicted to porn before I met her, but haven't looked at any form of porn in almost 4 years now. So I went from frequent use of that to fairly small amount after getting married. But, it really doesn't matter to me. Sure I want it frequently, but knowing what she's going through and the fact that there's honestly nothing (other than some meds) that she can do to change it, I just accept the fact and give her all the support that I can.
Have I ever cried about it? Of course. Do I feel any less manly because of it? Not in the least. The fact that I love her enough that it has such a strong impact on me is something I'm quite proud of actually.
Some of the things that you've said here Neech seem to be going a bit far to me, but I understand what you're saying and the reasons why. It sucks, it really does, and quite often at that.
The frustration is sometimes enough to make you just want to give up, that's just how it is. When I get to that point, I remind myself how selfish it is (and it really is), and then I calm down, get over it and just keep on pushing forward.
Talking about things helps though, especially in places like this where there are other people who understand. It also helps though to get the woman's side of things so that you can get a better understanding of what it is that she's going through, which is where all of the wonderful Cysters here come in super-handy.
One of the things that gets me the most is wanting to help her but not being able to. But, one of the things that gets my wife the most is knowing that I want to help her but not being able to let me. Your wife could very well be going through a lot of things similar to what you are.
Like you're starting to find out yourself here though, getting back into the motion of dating is a HUGE help with all of it. It's one thing to tell your woman you love her and that she's beautiful, but taking the steps to prove that to her always works wonders. It doesn't matter how much I tell my wife these things, they never compare to the brightness that fills her and the wonderful smile on her face when I take her out and we have a good time.