The fact that you recognize all of that means that your wife is very lucky to have you. Wipe her tears, give her hugs, tell her that the two of you will be okay no matter what and that you'll do whatever she needs you to do. Don't give her false hope, don't just placate her, and don't patronize her...just be supportive and tell her you love her. If she feels like she's got a partner in all of this--ALL OF THIS--then it will be much easier.
Good luck to you both.
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