Bizzy

Hi....I'm new to the boards.

I'm feeling very unattractive today. That doesn't change often. I weighed myself today and realized I've gained 20 pounds, which makes no sense even including the stress of final exams for my classes--rehearsals for my show have started so I should be losing weight with all of the ridiculous dancing I've been doing. Instead, I've gained 20 pounds in two months. It makes me really sad...

I don't have very many good self image days. I even look back on pictures that should be good self image days and I don't think that they are (prom, graduation etc.)


Edit: After posting that, I realized I didn't say much of anything. My name is Elizabeth but I go by Bizzy on message boards usually (easier to type). I'm 20 years old, about 5'1", and unfortunately 193 pounds. I was hospitalized for depression for five days during my junior year of high school, and even though that was nearly four years ago I still have bad days (none as bad as those, thank goodness).

I was diagnosed with PCOS some time after being hospitalized--before I started my senior year. I used to live in NJ, but now I live in CA and I'm still very homesick even after living in CA for over a year.

I have a doctor's appointment next Wednesday which I'm scared for. I ran out of birth control so I haven't been taking it (I'm hoping that's why I gained weight...) and my period when I get it is always terrible, debilitating and 'dear g-d just let me get a hysterectomy, I won't be able to conceive anyway'.

I've probably depressed everyone. Sorry. I just thought it would be good to give some information...instead of just saying stuff and meandering off..