Rebecca, you answered a lot of your own questions in your siggie:
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Our dream of raising a child together is stronger than the need to physically conceive a child...
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Some couples need time to grieve the child they will never conceive, others don't. What lead us to adoption was a series of events that was even
preventing us from TTC, after a year of being unsuccessful...deployment, cancer, another deployment, more cancer and surgery...so by the time we were so ready to start a family, I didn't even want to be pregnant any more and adoption just
felt right.
Length, cost, and the process itself will vary depending on what adoption program you choose to go with...international or domestic. And each country will have it's own rules and regulations that will dictate how soon the adoption can be finalized after placement. With domestic, each state has rules for finalization. Check with your state's office of adoptions, they will be able to help you out with that. You can also call any adoption agency and ask questions...they aren't like used car salemen, they want what's best for the child and will help you decide what program is right for you and your family.
Don't ever let finances get in the way of you adopting! There are very few people who have huge chunks of money sitting around. Most adoption programs are sort of pay-as-you go...you pay an application fee, the homestudy fee, then part of the program fee, etc. It's often spread out over the course of your adoption process so you have time to save and pinch pennies where you can. There are TONS of grant programs out there, just google
adoption grants and you will see there are thousands. WACAP, the agency we used for our son's adoption from Korea, has many ways they help families afford adoption on their website. I highly recommend WACAP, they were wonderful to us.
Some states even have tax credits and other helps for families that are adopting. When you do adopt and it is finalized, you will receive a federal tax
credit, not deduction, that is over $10k. You are able to spread out the credit over a few years so you can hopefully use it all. It is after to fact and you still have to come up with the finances for the adoption, but it sure does help pay the bills when it comes.
Good luck with your decisions and research! Please feel free to PM if you have more questions...
Cynthia