Nice work! You have a real gift! DF and I are both songwriters and he studied composition in college. He has told me in the past that one of the favorite things his professor ever said to him was-- "When you are writing a new poem or a song, you should be able to pick up that peice of paper or your journal and shake all of the "details" off. I wants to see blood, and sunsets, and the smell of coffee when you are sleep deprived, I want to see imagery!" I'm sure I'm not doing that quote any justice right now (DF would probably correct me) but I always liked that idea of writing out a new poem and then picking up the paper and having all of the imagery "fall off" ..lol.)
Anway-- long story short was your poem reminded me of that because of your crafty use of imagery and attention to detail. That kind of poem could easily be translated into a song as well.
Nice work-- keep writing and keep sharing!
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Me: 30 DH: 31
Diagnosed: May 2007
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