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CO14888 · 09-13-2007, 10:49 PM

It has been about a year since my last post on here. It is funny how complacent you get when things are going well. Then when it is too late, your life is turned upside down and you aren't sure what to do or where to turn. Both my girlfriend (nature05) and I have received great advice and support from all who have shared their opinions with us on this site. So, I thought I would turn to you and look for more great advice.
Almost to the day last year, I last posted a thread regarding the issues I was having with my girlfriend who is dealing with PCOS. I was going through some major anger issues and sought counseling for it. It really helped and made me realize the person I was towards my girlfriend. I never hurt her physically, but I definitely scared her into a total shutdown. After the counselling was complete and I began to live my life with my girlfriend, we worked on many things and improved our relationship. Since counselling, I have dealt with my anger and haven't had an outburst since. In December we bought a house together, in May she made a lateral move within her workplace and began working at a new position. At the same time we began planning a trip to Alaska, discussing marriage and carefully watching her cycle preparing for possible pregnancy. She had found an Endocrinologist whom she liked and her metformin dosage was changed, and he said that her lab results were par. She was be lead in the direction she had been wanting for a long time. We were headed in the right direction to fulfill our goals and dreams. Up until two weeks ago things were great. She then went out of town for work for approximately a week, came home and then left on a weekend getaway with a very close girlfriend. She came home, said she had a great time, but something seemed different. Similar to how she has acted when we were going through rough times. Ironically, the rough times seem to come in August/September of every year since we have been together. She became very closed off and shutdown again, not wanting to talk and always telling me nothing is wrong and that she was just tired and busy at work. I finally told her that she was acting similar to how she acted last year around this time and the year before. I was not trying to drag up the past, but I could definitely see a pattern. She told me that she has not been happy for a while, expressing her concerns that nothing has changed in 3 years, I never go out, I don't have any friends, I work too much, and when i am home, I sleep all day and night. Granted, she had a point. I don't have any friends, I don't go out, and work tends to control me. She said that she used to be very outgoing and sociable. Since I came into the picture she closed off from all her friends. I never held her back from seeing her friends or going out, but maybe she felt obligated to stay at home with me for some reason, I am not sure. Of course money this whole time has been an issue as well as I work two part time jobs. Thinking I was doing the right thing, I made an appointment through EAP to see a relationship counsellor. On Saturday this past week, while I was at work, she took all her stuff out of the house and is now staying with a friend. I have tried to talk to her about everything to see if we can work things out, however she won't talk to me. If asked what she is thinking, she says I don't know. I gave her some space for a few days and sent her flowers hoping she would talk to me come back home.
To give a bit of history, we met on an online dating site, I moved to the town that she lived in, we moved into a house and rented a room from someone. A very stressful situation, then moved to our own house and I focused my attention to my work as it was a new position and I wanted to make a good impression, not to mention I wanted to pulll my weight as well. I quit that position and moved onto another position that required I go away for 2 months for training and then I lived away from home while I was working. Now I have been rehired at my old position and I maintian both jobs to make ends meet. I because of being away so much, I have pulled back from work and tried to make my homelife priority, but now with her new job, she is focusing on her work as she is very busy. I am glad that she loves her job so much and I am very happy for her. She worked very hard to get to where she is. From day one we never had the opportunity to date or enjoy each other cause we put other priorities first. This whole summer, we have not been able to get away alone and have fun unless it was for an appointment of some sort.
I have sugested that she come back home, we live in separate rooms, go to individual counselling sessions as well as relationship counselling, commit to getting out alone, together on dates and out with others, work hard at our jobs, but make them #2. We do that for 6 months and reevaluate our relationship then and if we decide we still are not happy we go our separate ways. At least give it one last attempt. If we put in 110% towards the relationship and it doesn't work, we can say we did everything we could, if we do the same and it worked, we could be the happiest ever and be proud that we made it thorugh the hard times.
I want ehr back in the worst way. I want to show her that I can be the man she fell in love with 3 years ago.
Sorry for such a long thread
Thanks for any advice you may have.
Aaron