Betwixt

The fish stopped swimming today.
Gone are the dancing silvers and twisting yellows.
The red finned sharks won't pale any longer.
The tank stands empty;
I feel that ... void.

My hands broke out in hives,
Itching and twitching.
Scratching like a fiend on fire,
I couldn't stop.
Welts from poison or vexation I don't know.
Sometimes a sadness takes me over,
I can't help but feel .... tired.

Later I played with paper,
Affixing glue and cutting shapes to place on cards.
No words decorate creation.
What do I have to say to anyone?
Is anybody listening, anyway?

The love of my life said to me,
"You don't like yourself."
I liked the fishes, my hands, the paper.
Rarely myself.
I see flaws and failures,
So seldom do I see goodness and ... ambition.
Might it be hope I lack,
Have I been waiting too long,
For someone else to bring it to me?

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