Neechogan

Its been a while since I've posted on this discussion board and I've noticed that my thread has been deleted or moved. Well that's OK.

A lot has changed since my last post and while things aren't perfect or where I hoped they would be. My BDW (beautiful, darling wife) are in a better place. My best tip for intimacy and it has taken a long time for me to learn is:

Just Be Yourself

There's a lot of pressure out there that is placed on both sexes to perform. What I have learned the hard way is this...just leave your performance expectations at the door and go in with an open heart and an open mind. What ever happens, happens. What doesn't, doesn't. Life is full of surprises. Some of them are pleasant and some are not. In fact some are painful.

I was hung up on performance. What my wife did or didn't do. But what I noticed was that I really wasn't paying attention to her the way I should have been or the way I used to. So my advice to all you DHs or BFs or Rainbow Cysters out there is this - be yourself and don't stop being the person your partner fell in love with. See, I stopped being her hero and so I say our problems with intimacy are as much me no longer being the man she fell in love with and PCOS. Both contributed.

I have come to the realization that no matter how frustrated or angry I get about PCOS, I am powerless against it and what it is doing to my wife. I can only support her and help her where I can. Now my behavior on the other hand I can change,and have made great strides in changing. I have left my expectations at the door and I have started to cherish the fact that we still do share some intimacy from time to time. I'm feeling less anxiety and that has significantly decreased the amount of tension in our bedroom.

I've also started doing the little things again. The flowers, the little notes, the tender kisses on her cheek and a soft "I love you" as she lays sleeping before I leave the house to head off to work and actively listening. The result...she's not as cranky anymore and she's told me that she has noticed an increase in her desire to have more play time.

Never give up...never stop loving her for who she is....accept the things you can't change....cherish the time you have together. My romance tips for all of you out there with a partner suffering from PCOS.