Neechogan,
I'm new to this site and wanted to share my story with you in hopes that maybe you could find some hope.
I am engaged to the woman of my dreams, who also suffers from PCOS. We are currently set to marry June 21st. Although we aren't married yet, we have been together for the last 3 years. Over the course of our dating history, my fiance was suffering from a lack of period. She went 3 years without having a period before we finally got some answers. She kept hearing that she just wasn't having a period from the weight she had gained (She went from 125 lbs. to 195 lbs. in a year).
After much frustration and repeated visits to various specialists, we discovered she had PCOS which in return explained the weight gain. During the last two years we have had many situations arise that have caused her a great deal of pain, depression and a complete lack of sexual desire as well.
She took metformin for a while, but the medication made her so sick that she finally had to come off from it. I admired her ambition to take the pills in hopes that she could return to her "normal" self. She was then placed on the pill in hopes that this would induce her period. While the pill did induce her period she was having outrageous emotional "episodes" and would start crying for no reason at all, rage for no reason at all and she just reported that she felt completely "crazy". So the Doctor then put her on the lowest form of birth control available because the hormone levels were too high for her.
This new pill did decrease the issue she was having with the emotional outbursts, but the periods that were brought on each month were devastating to her. She was in so much pain that she would miss work each month for at least 4 days. She was severely depressed and very distant with me.
We did find a solution to this issue, but it has taken us a long time and many frustrated moments to get to a place that we feel we're both happy with. She was having a hard time with intimacy because she had all these different things going on with her body. The hair growth and weight gain made her feel unattractive and unwanted. She thought that these things would repulse me and make me love her less. It was through several heart to heart discussions that I discovered these things and I have never been happier that we cared enough to talk it through.
I, of course, do not notice the hair growth (because she's a meticulous groomer) and the weight gain is not her fault. She has always eaten healthy and exercised. So these issues that were so huge to her and causing her to not want to be intimate were issues that I didn't even really notice. They never bothered me at all and all this time she thought that if I would be repulsed.
I try to woo my fiance and the biggest goal for me is to make her feel beautiful, wanted and comfortable with not only me, but herself. When I started making that my goal I could see things changing drastically. Our intimate life is much more satisfying and we're both much more happy with the way things are going.
I must say though that the communication was the biggest thing that helped us. Instead of my nagging her to take her meds and keep up with everything...I sat back and listened to why she didn't want to take the meds and we found a solution that was alright with her doctor as well. I learned a lot from just talking with her and recommend doing the same with your wife.
Hope this helps.
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Being all that I can be for the One who completes me. |