actually she gave me the boot she is 19 and told me she needed to know who she was and needed time and space to do that and then she told me she was confused didn't know what she wanted and now she is seeing someone else but its ok though because i'll be getting married in oct but she was just very immature and couldn't deal with me being sick and the fact that one day she might wake up to me being dead at an early age so i am way better off. my soon to be wife is great and takes care of me and lets me be me and doesn't worry about me being sick and when i do get sick she is there for me. her son even thinks of me as his second mother i'm going to adopt him once he is older and i'm going to change my last name not the other way around because he is bi polor and autistic and so he wouldn't understand the name change and it would take time for him to get used to it. i love him to death he actually told me he wants me to give him 3 brothers and 3 sisters i told him he was nuts. he scared me the other day because he went to go ride his bike around the block(we live in a suberbian nebiorhood) and i couldn't find him or his bike in the normal areas and so i called his mom (she was laying in bed resting she is working a lot since i'm not working right now) and she told me to go look somewhere else and i saw his bike he was playing in the back yard after we have told him time and time again not to because we can't see him back there and there for we don't know where he is i gave him the lecture of a life time after that then called my mother and was like now i understand how you feel cause to me JP is my son i might not have given birth or had anything to do with it but for the past 3 years i have helped sunshine with him and now that we are getting married i think of him as mine and now i know why they tell you don't give your parents a hard time when you are young cause your kids will do the same and now i'm seeing why cause he gives us hell.
I went to the interview but didn't hear anything i've been to a few in the past few weeks and haven't gotten a job yet. its really starting to get to me and on top of that sunshine thinks all i do is sleep all day and i'm not busting my butt looking for a job or cleaning even though when she comes home the dishes are done and put up and the clothes are washed. today i didn't feel good and i think i'm pmsing on top of it (boobs hurt, moody, running to the bathroom and my face is broke out) and she was telling me how to find a job and what i needed to do and i almost hung up on her if she doesn't stop i will go off the way i'm feeling cause its not like i'm not trying its just that no one is jumping on the chance to hire me at this point in time because of my job history. its not good since i was sick most of my life with pancreatitis and after the surgery that i had to fix it i couldn't hold a job till may of 2007 and it wound up being a hostile work inviroment and they were cutting back pay and i needed to move here to be with sunshine and jp and near my doctors that did my surgery so i just left there and i guess that everyone is afraid that i'm not going to stick around i don't know so its starting to wear on me and doesn't make for a good combo to be pmsing and sick and depressed cause no one will hire you. so we shall see if i get any phone calls or e-mails tomorrow telling me i got a job i hope so cause i'm tired of sitting around the house and tired of sunshine on my case all the time. how everything is well your way
michelle |