well thats part of it she wanting me happy and all but we also struggle for money as we all have meds we have to take and with her being the soul provider right now between rent and gas for both cars and food and our meds theres nothing left for any extras inless we barrow it matter in fact i had to call my mother and ask her to get my insulin filled for me this week cause we didn't have the money at all so its stressing her too she told the therpist today (jp is in therpy do to child abust from his farther and step mom and step uncle and the bi polor) that she enjoys me being a stay at home mom right now cause i go get jp from his after school program where they help him with his home work and also lets us have time to get things in order around the house before he comes home and messes it right back up and i am here if something happens to him and she gets a home cooked meal and a clean house when she gets home but she works long hours and doesn't get to see much of me and jp and we don't get much alone time cause by the time she gets home and we eat its time to get jp in the bath and give him his meds and off to bed and by then she is ready to take her sleeping meds and her meds for her RLS and she passes out on me so i'm sitting here awake most of the night watching tv or just laying there listening to her sleep. i have insominia really bad and on nights like tonight where it is hot it makes it worse i was in there watching tv and she asked me to turn it off and i've taken some meds to try and force myself to sleep but i'm sweating and just so hot that i can't.
JP is 9 will be 10 in may and me and Sunshine have been together on and off since 2005 we went through some rough times because i was so sick and there is a 9 yr differance and she couldn't get over my age back then or the fact that i was so sick. everytime i turned around i was in the hospital on pain meds not being able to eat or anything. I had chronic pancreatitis the only way i can tell you what it is is to say go to web md and look it up its really hard for me to put it into words how it feels you throw up all the time so i have bad teeth and the pain is the worse pain you will ever feel in your live and they told me that it would kill me and so it scared her and she didn't want to lose another person that she loved so she pushed me away for 2 years and then would come back and the push me away again but in oct. 2006 i had my pancreas,spleen, part of my stomach and part of my intestance taken out and they routed everything like a gastro by pass and put as many cells they could get from my pancreas that makes insulin into my liver but it wasn't much as the pancreatitis did a lot of damage my pancreas was hard and small from it. so not i get common colds and things like that very easy and i have to take shots everyday for my blood sugar some days i take as many as 10 shots if i'm sick. and since i've had the surgery there is no scare that i'm going to die at a early age from pancreatitis and she got over my age and asked me in july to marry her and move back here (i used to live in south east texas and she is in dallas texas which is 3 hours from my home town) but i was working at a call center in shreveport,la and had just started seeing my bosses sister and i couldn't just go sorry tracy but my ex wants me back and to marry her and have kids with her and adopt her son so i'm leaving you but i really like you so i told her no that i was going to stay where i was at but me and my bosses sister didn't work out as she has ocd and she is addicted to poker so we didn't mesh very well at all and by the time we broke up Sunshine was with someone else and so i started dating jess which is the ex that treated me like crap and when she broke up with me i told sunshine and she was like good get your butt up here and make a honest woman out of me and so here i am and i'm loving every min of it all except for not having a job cause i'm a true southern gentalman so to speak i like to spoil my partner and do the whole open the doors and bring you flowers for no reason other than to say i love you and do those kind of things but with me not working i can't right now and there are a lot of things i would like to get our son as well like new games and some educational stuff because he is behind in school and has a hard time with somethings and i know of some games that would help him a lot just need the money for it and i also need new glasses so all that is just piled up on me right now and has gotten to me but i take it in stride as hard as that is.
Me and Sunshine are actually going to get married at a camp she is wiccan and there is a few camps a year and there is one in oct that we are going to and so she asked her preast and high preastess to marry us in a celtic hand fasting which is cool by me as i am celtic so is she so it plays into our harritage which i love cause no one really does that anymore they denie who they are and where they came from but we aren't going to do that. and after we come back from the camp we want to have a dinner with all of our friends and then go out to a gay bar called crush and have a reception there i even contacted one of our fav singers that we see all the time at the clubs(we go there just mainly to hear her sing and see our friends and drink) and she also is my friend on myspace so i asked her if she would sing for us and she told me yes all i need to do is tell her dates and times and stuff so its actually not going to cost us much at all. i'm really happy that one of my friends is going to be my best maden as when i first met sunshine she had a crush on her and i thought i was going to have to kick macs butt but she was madly in love with our other friend nessa so me and her started hanging out and stuff and are like sisters now i love mac to death and she didn't even hesatate when i asked her to be in the wedding.
one of our friends he is actually sunshines ex hubby he is gay and they got married just so jp could be on his insurance till she got her own and they got a devorce i was to say last year on in 2006 i don't remember ...well anyways we asked him if he would donate his swimmers to us so that i could get preggers because we know he wouldn't want any perantal rights to the baby and he told us yes after we are married so that was good news i just need to go get checked out by a dr and see if i do ovulate and if i need to be on fertility drugs to be able to conceve as we don't want to do it in a dr office we want to do it at home and it be more intement you know what i mean? i do think it will be funny as i'm very butch and i don't think i'll look right preggers at all. i'll have to show you a pick of me one day and you will understand what i mean. matter in fact do you have yahoo im or a myspance account anything like that? |