 A man's point of few
Hi Colorado,
My heart goes out to you. I've been in a similar situation and I can certainly say that it has been a difficult time for me. Having a partner with little or no drive does take its toll. It is true that a man who loves his wife genuinely wants to please her and when it seems like your partner doesn't want to be there, you begin to question yourself and your marriage.
My wife's sex drive was high and then slowly diminshed for reasons we didn't know until her diagnosis. I spent a lot of time soul searching, wondering what I was doing wrong, spending money on flowers, toys, books, just to feel humilated to learn that there was not one damn thing I could do about it. What was even more frustrating is that once every so often, my wife's libido would miraculoously appear and I would spend days, if not weeks mulling it over, looking to see if there was some magical combination to things that caused it to happen but I've never been able to find the magic potion.
I have a thread on here on which I posted regularly for nearly 2 years. If you ever get a chance to read it, you will notice that I have expressed some anger and frustration. I often found myself in a depression, crying myself to sleep at night. I spoke to Drs. here but no one seems to know what the hell PCOS is.
I can understand how your husband feels. My wife's sex drive isn't getting better. In fact it's getting worse. Our love making is becoming less less and less frequent and the time that passess between sessions is getting longer and longer. When you do make love, she doesn't touch me either, hasn't for years. While I like sex, its getting to the point where I don't care if it happens at all. When we start and she just lays there, I feel like hopping out of bed and sleeping on the couch but I don't want to hurt her feelings and its not fair to me to deprive myself of what I need.
Tell your husband that you love him and mean it. Show him how much he means to you by your actions. Don't hold back. Talk to him and tell him how you feel then back it up with actions. Be a little daring....do something you don't normally do. Treat him like a god in the bed room and keep telling him that you need him. Talk dirty. Do all those things because its what I pray my DW would do for me.
Take care.
God bless. |