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mlinn · 03-03-2008, 11:11 PM

Ok,
I posted something earlier on soul cysters about my dbf and all the women had advice...but seemed very judgemental so I thought I would ask here and see what I get....

I have had a relationship with my dbf for over a year and a half now. He just doesn't seem motivated. He says that he was always motivated before he was with me but he thinks something like anemia (for example) is wrong with his health and causing him to be lethargic. He will sleep for 23 hours out of 24. He doesn't work...I have been footing the bills and the job in our household.

Not only does he not work, he doesn't help me around the house at ALL..this is not an exageration even though he will argue that. Since he moved into my apartment in September he has not lifted his hands to do one load of clothes,not cooked a meal,and barely helps with the dishes and cleaning the place up (only when he knows his friends are coming over) Now if we were both working, I might be down for all that...but with him not working......

Here comes the kicker. A week before valentines day he didn't show up to my house one night..I called him to see why he did not come home and he said he was going to stay over at his guy friends house(which I told him I would not tolerate bc we live together and if he is going to be gone out all night long I will be gone all night long,too) I got very angry and kicked him out and told him to leave me alone. I knew that he would see some other girl while we were split. He called and begged for me to take him back....and I did...now fast forward to a week later when it is Valentines day (which I have professed to him to be a very hard time for me because of my past - my ex fiance cheated on me on VDay) he fell asleep on the couch and his phone fell out of his pocket...now I am not a snoop at all...but he started going through my phone,walking outside to talk on the phone and making me very suspicious. I find text messages that he has sent another girl saying that he loves her,that he had a wonderful time at the resturant,and various things of that nature (12 different text),I got the dreaded phone call from the other lady and the whole nine yards. Both of them said they were nothing more than talking on the phone and went out to eat together. I knew he would see someone while we were split but while we were together?

He again has begged for my forgiveness. He says that he loves me and can't live without me.....that I am the woman God made for him. He has left from OUR home in AR to go spend time with his mom in GA...and I just can't trust him. I mean, this is the first time in our entire relationship that I have suspected cheating..he keeps saying it wasn't actually cheating bc they were just "talking" but I just feel like I can't trust a word he says. He seems to be trying hard. He says that he wants to return to church with me and get his priorities straight. He says he wants to go to couples therapy with me at church. He says that I am the love of his life and all that has happened has made him realize how much I actually mean to him.....

Should I trust him or should I end it. I keep trying to end it and he just keeps on fighting the breakup. I just need a man's perspective if you gentleman are willing to give me one.