Sorry, I am a girl here too lol, I don't really have any advice, just want to say I am close to the same boat you are in. My dbf parents both passed away 4 and 5 years ago, along with his best friend. Things were great up until then, and for the last several years I have let alot of crap go because really that was a lot for him to go through in a short amount of time. we used to talk about marriage and kids, now we don't, in fact one night he was hammered and told me he would never marry me, that there was something missing, he also told me that he and his best friend (a girl) had strong feelings for eachother (after she died, he tells me this), he didn't work for 3 years or clean or do much of anything but sit at the bar, we were financially able for him to do it, but it got real aggravating as I worked full time and he didn't, I payed my fair share of bills, he bought expensive "toys" (guns, a minichopper, rc cars, modifacations to his truck), last year he admitted that while I was out of town with my friend for a concert (one of few times I get out to do anything) he went to the bar where I had been helping a friend out and tried to sleep with the other bartender, apparently it did not happen but still, he had to drive 80 miles for this, more recently he got a text message while he was asleep, I don't snoop either but didn't really think about it and opened the phone, not wanting to listen to it all night, it was someone just asking if he was awake but the name was just "text" instead of a name of one of our friends, so I looked and found another one giving an email addy which showed the name to be kim. I want to call, text or email this person, but I could be wrong, how stupid lol. I feel for you, it is tough and everything is easier said than done you know, we have been together going on 8 years and been through all this stuff and I still honestly cannot bear the thought of leaving him, he travels for his job and everytime he leaves I ball like a big baby. You are definitely not alone. |