Macauley's Mommy

Hi cysters, my name is Kelly, I live in Queens, NY and I'm 30 years old. I've been aware of this site since 2000 but until recently I wasn't strong enough to face all the issues that come with PCOS. I was diagnosed with PCOS in 1996. My symptoms started in 1994. I went from 125lbs. to 180lbs. in two years. The doctor that diagnosed me back then was quite obnoxious. He actually told me that I should not concern myself with college or a career but with finding a mate as I had only a few years to conceive. He wasn't warm and I was young and I slipped into a deep depression. I feel like I was in sort of a mental coma. Three years ago I had a pretty severe anxiety attack. By then I had lost at least 50% of my hair. I'm lucky that my hair was very thick to start with. But of course I have hair everywhere else. By then my period was 22 months apart. The day after my attack, I started dieting. I lost 35 lbs quickly as I was finally motivated. I met the guy I had been talking to online for two years that I had been refusing to meet because of my deep fear of rejection. He is the first man that knows everything and he accepts me and loves me. I don't have to hide from him. I am so grateful for him. He actually read about the benefits of doing Atkins for those with PCOS. I lost another 30lbs. on Atkins, my periods were more regular and I found out in 2006 that I was pregnant. *My advice to all pregnant PCOSers...get proper pre-natal care, get tested early for gestational diabetes and listen to yourself. I didn't and my son was born 11 weeks early and died after living only 10 hours. For those of you who have suffered loss of an infant...I am so sorry. No one should have to feel that pain and my little boy did not deserve to suffer the way he did. I miss him everyday. On a positive note, I managed to get pregnant again three months later and after great medical care and a lot of work my son Macauley was born in September 07. He did not come easy but he is perfect and I love him to bits. Now that I have my big guy and my little guy, I want more. I want to kick PCOSs butt...hehe. I'll be getting a referral for an endocrinolgist next week. I'm looking for any doctor recommendations. I'll travel anywhere between NYC and Long Island. Most pressing to me right now is the issue of my hair. I have lost so much that I am no longer comfortable being seen. After the two pregnancies and all of the hormonal changes I can't hide the loss well anymore. Last week I went for a hair transplantation consultation with the top NY hair loss surgeon and he informed me that I was not a candidate for surgery because my loss is hormonal and genetic and I have no healthy growth. So at this point I am looking for a wig. This whole experience has been so disheartening. It's so hard to talk about...being robbed of your femininity. I know you know. I wish I could give you all a hug! I'll take any advice you've got for me and I'm looking forward to sharing support with all of you.

Thank you for taking time to read my little intro.

Kelly