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Originally Posted by mkaz  I would like to tell you how much I appreciate your intelligent, thought-out reply to this. I suppose in reality, I am more skeptical about people pronouncing themselves bisexual, than actually not believing it exists. I still stand in saying most people are either experimenting or confused, however. Perhaps not you.
What "bugs" me most though, are comments like: I'm married, but bi and sleep with women, and my husband is okay with it. Or just because some female has made-out with another female -- but pretty much is always with a guy -- she thinks she is bisexual. To me, the first is just sleazy, and the second is just b.s.
I have my own interesting background in that I was married for 7 years, and only with men, until I divorced a few years back. Without ever even considering a lesbian relationship (or another relationship), I found my now forever partner who is a woman. Where does that put me on the "scale" of things? I fell in love with the person she is, not her sex.
Am I a lesbian, bisexual, does it really matter?
Labeling can be a huge downfall. But now I think I'm taking the conversation elsewhere, so I will stop. Thank you for your thoughtful thoughts!  |
I wasn't going to respond to this because I hate conflict and I certainly don't want to offend anyone, but I feel I must respond because otherwise it will bug me LOL
I don't really think it's fair to judge someone who is bisexual and married and whose husband allows her to sleep with women on the side. I really feel that sexuality is on a continuum... some people fall clearly at one end of the spectrum, some fall smack dab in the middle, and others fall somewhere else along that line. So the word "bisexual" may mean different things to different people. Even though you would not choose to marry a man and sleep with women on the side, that might be a perfectly workable situation for some couples. It doesn't make them sleazy... they are consenting adults who are choosing to get their needs met in a way that doesn't necessarily conform to society's expectations.
There are some people who consider themselves mostly hetero or mostly homo but who like to occasionally sleep with someone of the same or opposite gender... they sometimes refer to themselves as "bi curious" since they don't always feel attracted to people of both genders but they do sometimes like to experiment.
I really think labels are just that... labels... they're not the end all be all and we shouldn't be upset when we or others don't fully fit them. I also don't think it's fair to judge who can and who cannot use a particular label. If someone feels that they fit the label, they have every right to use it to describe themselves. I just don't think we should judge one another... most of us have experienced enough of that already without doing it to each other.