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ProudPCOMom · 05-30-2008, 02:33 PM

I guess Foster/Adopt would be like a high-risk pregnancy.

You receive your Foster/Adopt license - It like the HPT is positive! It's very early in the pregnancy and you're hoping it 'sticks'. You've already started buying cribs/strollers/gender-neutral clothes because you're SO EXCITED!

Placement of foster children - It's like the DR has told you to be on bed-rest (you now have to ask to take the baby out of state or on long trips) in your second trimester - baby is not yet viable, but you've just learned the sex of the baby so you're ultra excited and telling everyone. You see/feel the baby all the time (extra sonograms/baby is moving) and you see the DRs/Nurses often (CPS Case Workers, CASA, agency Case Managers, etc).

Bio-family is heading towards TPR (termination of parental rights) - You're now in the hospital on bed-rest - very touch and go. You still see the baby daily (sonograms) and you're ultra attached and dreaming of the future. You are nearing viability and the DRs/Nurses are hopeful, but you could still lose the baby.

TPR granted - The baby is thriving in utero, you've gotten past the age of viability. You're still on bed-rest, but you're looking forward to your due date (adoption) which is still a couple months away. Now's the time to prepare for the birth (getting a lawyer, getting CPS/agency to get those last few things done and scheduling the delivery room (court)).

The Final Adoption in front of the Judge - Is the delivery room, only there is no blood, only tears of joy. The DRs/Nurses are surrounding you and there are lots of pictures. You've invited your entire family to witness the birth - you are nothing but proud. Everyone gets to hold the 'baby' - if the 'baby' will allow it!

I've been through High-Risk pregnancies and dealt with the NICU (which I didn't try to work into the above scenario, because I wanted finalization to be the birth). Foster/Adopt is very similar, stress-wise. How many times I worried that one of my babies would leave (be re-united with their bio-families) and we would lose that child. Having more than one placement of children (case of one or more children) in your home is like a multiple birth of fraternal babies. Losing one baby (case) wouldn't cause you to lose the entire pregnancy - but the pain would still be there.

For us, we've been carrying fraternal twins, as we have two separate cases going on. We're nearing delivery for one and trying to book the delivery room for the other (I know in a traditional twin birth, they are delivered together). They are growing up together, but will have different 'birth days'.