sazzifrazz

we have had our 16 yr old foster son for 4.5 years now. Im only 13 years older than him. He has special needs so developmentally he is like an 8 year old...with some teenage crap thrown in. We started the guardianship process, and the state was so SLOW with it. 14 months later his bio parents and DH and I were still not agreeing on the amount of visits. FS went through a period of terrible behavior and I freaked. all i could think of was "Why am I taking on someone elses problems? He doesn't love us, he isn;'t even bonded with us AT ALL." We called ur social worker and stopped guardianship. I know no one is going to take him from us. we will continue to be his foster parents until he is 22 and ages into a group home (due to his special needs he can't even be independent). we will always advocate for him, and he will always be "family". But i needed to know that if he got to the point where he was unmanagable we had backup (the state). There just isn't that unconditional love there, but that may be due to his inability to bond. this age group is so hard. think if he was a baby when we got him we would love him. what do you have to gain from adoption? would your foster daughter want you to adopt her? will it beter your life? he life? do you fear if you don't she will be taken from you? i doubt as a teenager anyone is going to take her. sad to say, but true.

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IVF #1 Quinten Patrick born 3/17/06
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IVF #2 "Lilly" ended in mc 7/21/2007 at 5.5 wks, IVF#3 11/2007: BFN, IVF #4 4/2008: BFN
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Next IVF planned summer 2009
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