Lezasc20

It has been 11 days since my m/c started and a week since it's completion. I have not returned phone calls, emails or visits to the many people who have tried to contact me. I have spoken with my mother, she is my best friend. She told me to mourn however I need to and take the time that I need. Next week my parents and grandmother will be here for my graduation; what should be a joyous occassion I'm not even looking forward to anymore.

I cancelled a baby shower that I was supoose to host for my BEST FRIEND who had her baby at 31 weeks and he's home and healthy. I didnt want to be jealous while she stood there w/ her beautiful son and all of my VERY pregnant friends gathered around. I'm sick of people telling me "you were only 7 weeks" and I'm tired of people saying "you'll have another baby" DANGIT I WANTED THIS BABY!

I dont know when I'll return phone calls to those who have tried so hard to reach out to me...including my pastor's wife. I feel like I dont want to leave the house...I even skipped my appt to make sure my BETA was at 0. I just want to be alone, vent my feelings and cuddle with my dh...who is probably going insane b/c I dont want to hike, bike, jog or sightsee like I normally do.

Ugh, so now that I've vented. Did any of you go through this...or are currently going through this? How long will I mourn this way?

__________________