I think I know how you feel. And I feel bad for you because i know how bad depression hurts. I have to say that the only thing that has helped me is to focus on cultivating my soul. I guess intense suffering is supposedly character building. I hate it and just want to be normal and happy too. But maybe the universe just made you this way so that you would feel with more intensity and understand pain and suffering. There were many spiritual characters who suffered greatly and felt intense emotions. There are also many artists who lived lives of intense suffering and emotion. Perhaps your "Dark night of the Soul" is almost over. It is always darkest before the sunrise. The winter solstice is the shortest day of the year (the least sunlight) and then after that the days start to become longer. Perhaps you are going through this time in preparation that the universe or god if you prefer needs you to understand the darker shadow side of human nature. Maybe this isn't making you feel any better, but for me, the hope that my suffering is for a purpose, was the only purpose I had for making it through some days. I feel for me the days are getting longer, but I still want to find an anti-dep that works. |