Great of you to work through it with her! Since you mentioned you aren't sure how to react to her when she shoots down compliments, I thought I'd share a communication technique I learned for dealing with deflected compliments. Compliment what's good, make a statement about why it's good, and then ask a question about whatever it is. The idea is that if you make a statement and then ask a question about the statement, people will begin to accept the truth of what you just said. So, just for example, where you might say, You look great, and she might reply, I feel fat, try this instead:
What: You look great. Why: Very sexy. Question: What do you say we go out tonight?
That way, instead of disagreeing with you about how she looks, she can focus on answering the question you asked. I hope this helps! |