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Originally Posted by Salsal  I was wondering the same thing...how do you handle the wait? We don't have the age concern, but DH and I have just started to research adoption and feel in our hearts it is right for us. What a great feeling! But my worry is what if it takes a long time? What if we are not chosen? We will use a local agency and request a domestic adoption of an infant and one of my friends who is an adoption social worker said that the number of adoptions is down right now.
So for those who have adopted or who are waiting, how do you handle the wait and uncertainty? |
O.k. for one, you have to realize and be optimistic that you are going to get chosen. There is a child out there for you either born and yet to be concieved. If you don't believe that then you are in for a long and miserable wait until you are chosen and have your child home.
I say that b/c that is what I did. After our 2nd fall through I swore up and down that it was never going to happen. But ya know 1 mos after the last one that was a fall through on the side of the adoption agency we were picked and 5 days later our ds was born.
You have to be proactive with your adoption. Let everyone know that you are wanting to adopt. You never know who might know of an expectant mom that is considereing adoption. Some AP's have done websites. We got our bm through a faciliator (which she was awesome. PM if ya wanna know more.) You can look on websites that have adoption situations. (Trust me they are real and you can get chosen. That is how we found ds.) Make sure that you are real on your profile. Don't make it all fluffy and showy. Make it real mirror of you and your dh.
Other than that, through the wait do projects. I redid my house and did beading and magnets...alot of stuff to get my mind off of thinking about it.
Also know that you don't have to get hooked on with an agency. The fees are outrageous and for some they feel comfortable going that route. But coming from AP that was on the other side of their adoption they told me never to give an agency any money until they have done something for you. Alot of the agencies that we had considered were great until they talked about the fees. With their 100 page application you had to send a check (not a payment towards the adoption fees) for all of the fees. This was the norm here. I found a couple that did payments but their results of matches was quite low.
There are alot of avenues to bringing home your child. Not one way is right for another. Do you research on everything. Join online groups: heybobo.com/Yahoo 2Adopt group/Yahoo Adoption Fundraising Group...there are others...but I can't think of them right now...will look in my notes.
Good luck on your journey. It is an emotional rollercoater (like ttc...) but in th end it is SO worth it!
