I did not stay overnight for my Lap. I was in surgery about 1.5 hours and was released about 3 hours after surgery. Right after surgery - they made me sip water and take a pain pill. I do remember not wearing any panties and feeling quite odd about it when they changed my pad under me. Just be prepared to shelf the modesty for a few hours.
One of the best tips I can give is the bowel prep - if you do a bowel prep - I took Miralax for 5 days until my surgery. By the night before when I did the prep, I barely had to go and had NO cramping
Also, mixing it w/ gatorade or ginger ale. And chewing gum
I would suggest taking off the day before surgery if you can. I had to go to the hospital and do pre-op. I also was on a liquid diet that day and did the prep that night. I was in pretty bad shape though - very weak, so the whole taking blood and not eating really beat me down. I almost did not have surgery b/c my pre op was so bad - high blood pressure, high pulse rate & a fever. So make sure you are well rested for the surgery.
As for recovery, I was not supposed to drive for a week. Your dr may be different. I was out of work for 2 weeks. But everyone is different. I felt better by day 8 after my surgery. Be sure to take with you a blanket or something to put over your lap for your car ride home. I was told not only not to drive for a week , but avoid riding in the car for a week as the seatbelt in a car wreck could be very bad!
It took 2-3 days for the "gas" to really feel gone for me. I did have some cramping and the "shoulder pain" from the gas. I found that propping myself up to sleep helped. Another weird thing for me - I ended up w/ a pinched nerve in my neck from the position of my head during surgery (when they put the tube down the throat). Oh - which - that will cause a sore throat when you wake up.
For a few days I felt like my organs were "finding their places again" - it felt weird sitting up, standing, and sitting on the toilet. This soreness/stiffness is helped with pain killers and just avoiding moving around altogether.
I think by disinegrate he means it will be re-absorbed. It's impossible for anything in your abdominal cavity to go through your vagina (unless there was a hole in your uterus).
I too have an office job and found it quite uncomfortable sitting in a chair. I preferred to sit on the couch w/ my legs on an ottoman. Just think of it this way - any bending/pressure to your abdominal area will cause pain for a few days. I was on pain pills for a week and then switched to 4 ibuprofen every 6 hours.
HTH
GL