Calches and Holly--Hugs back to you and thanks for your support. Today I am feeling much calmer about things--I was definitely PMSing big time! I agree with you Calches, I do just have to give up playing it over and over again in my head, try to relax, put it in God's hands and believe it will happen when it is meant to happen. I honestly hadn't thought of that situation in the US in which the birth mother chooses the adoptive parents--it has a lot of similarities to our sitch because you want so badly to be chosen and yet you have absolutely no control! I was so thrilled to give up trying to control my body and my fertility (that painful, unending pattern of being extremely hopeful and then feeling completely crushed when AF arrives) that I somehow missed the boat by not contemplating our lack of control in the adoption process as well. I think thatīs why motherhood will feel like such an amazing blessing when it finally comes...
