Justa - Congratulations on the new baby! I don't really know what to tell you for supporting your wife in this BFing challenge. BFing is a very personal decision that we make, that in many cases, we feel defines us as a woman and provide proof that we are "good" mommies... It's like we think you get a "good mommy award" if we BF, or attachment parent, or whatever. If we have trouble BFing, then we assume it means we are bad mommies or inadequate as women. Nothing could be further from the truth. BFing is not necessarily "natural" or easy to get the hang of. Women have trouble producing enough milk (especially with PCOS and all the hormonal issues we have) and babies have issue with the suck mechanism, not all breasts are made to BF (or at least mine aren't)! Add in the fact that getting milk from a bottle is SO MUCH EASIER (from the baby's POV), and well frankly babies just want to get fed, they are not attributing any emotions to wanting to eat in the easiest fashion possible. Your baby preferring bottle over breast is no reflection on how much your wife LOVES her baby, nor does it reflect how much your baby will grow attached to you both and love you as only a baby can. My own son started refusing the boob when he figured out the bottle was just so much easier (plus at Daycare, that's all he got all day long and there is no way pumping at work is going to replicate what a baby can get out, so we just had the slow-down in production that led to the eventual demise of BFing). It almost becomes a function of just accepting that BFing is not going to work in your particular situation. It might be hard at first to accept that you need to give it up, but when you look back on it and you have such less stress and can start enjoying the bonding moments with your new baby, you will be grateful it happened that way. (or at least that is how I felt) And truly, thank goodness, we have access to formula to feed infants when BFing doesn't work out. As long as baby grows healthy and strong, bonding can occur both through the bottle or the breast. Just take the time with your baby to cuddle and interact and that's all your baby really needs!
Hugs to you both as you travel through the travails of new parenthood! Dianna
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Dianna (37), DH (42)
Dx PCOS 02/06; Ovarian Drilling 03/06
BFP #1 05/06 (2 mos TTC); DS born 02/14/07
BFP #2 03/08 (5 mos TTC);
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M/C and D&E (identical twin girls at 14w) - 06/08
BFP #3 03/09 (8 mos TTC);
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M/C (soybean at 5w2d) - 04/09
Not TTCing any more; Met 1000mg
Running 4miles 3x/week
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