Goddess Hectate Help

^I'm newly agnostic, open to the possiblity of a higher power, but not entirely sure

What evidence do you have that God exists?

What makes me think there is no God? The extermination of 6 million jews, slavery, wars, illness... Somewhere in the world right now a child is getting raped and beaten, another is starving.. another child is born with cancer... what about the 400 civilians that got killed in Palestine for the last seven days, by the Isreali government?

I fully understand the concept of "free will" but what about medical issues we are born with? And really what kind of God would sit back, eat popcorn and allow all of this? Is God not just?

As far as my struggles go.. It's more than health and fertilty, I've lost everything in my life just at the age of 22, I've been open about my issues w. PCOS but I don't want to get into what's going on in my personal life..

As far as my diagnosis, it came six years too late.. I really haven't been able to change much, but I am working on it... Why is it when good things happen it's God, but bad things happen it's our own?

My diagnosis had nothing to do with God, after years of crying and watching my hair fall out and struggling with many other issues (I have more than just PCOS).. I did my own research, getting tested and still didn't know what was going on.. finally I FIGURED it out and told my doctor to test my hormones, adrenal gland, thyroid etc... that's how I was diagnosed.. medications didn't work.. I did my own research and came here..

Why is it God? What are you trying to say humans aren't capable of anything? I did my own research.. I found my own solution

No one said God has to answer my prayers exactly they I want them or that life should be easy.. but it shouldn't be this difficult either. Everyone has their limit, I'm strong person and I finally broke down when my life fell apart... This is too much pain for me to endure.. Why does God put people on Earth just to suffer? what's the point? The victims of Hitler? Why allow so many innocent people to die? What did those kids do that were taken away from their parents and send to NAZI death camps? Stripped naked and shaved.. forced to work and get expiermented on by nazi doctors.. It's SICK.. It's inhumane... If there is in fact a God why should I believe in such a cruel one? That has the power to stop all of this, but doesn't?

What about Heaven? Where is it? Angels are depicted in pictures with clouds.. Planes have already flew through the sky.... no Angels.. Astronauts went into space.. NO HEAVEN, NO GOD.. JUST A SOLAR SYSTEM WITH PLANETS... Earth is just a small part of the Universe.. Where is God? Is he watching over Mars now lol?

You can belive whatever you want.. In fact I didn't become a complete agnostic until recently.. I tried different religons, attempted to reach out to God many times.. It took me a long time to get to this point.. I never gave up on God even after being molested, health issues, personal tragedy etc... But now after doing much research, I finally have and chose not to have some kind of delusional fantasy that there is some magical sky daddy that is looking out for me and the entire universe.. When I hit rock bottom, no one was there to help me other than myself...


Sorry I know this came out a little incoherent (I'm doing a number of things at once) but it's the events in my life and science that have led me arrive to this conclusion..