Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.NorthSouth  In a nutshell, you have captured every man's confusion about the fairer sex. When my wife fights me, I usually just give up. I mean, it's not worth the pain I go through! But you're saying that I should just put up with the resistance and keep trying?
I love my wife, but I don't pretend to understand her!
I would be curious of other women's point of view on this. |
Yes, put up with the resistance and keep trying. The key is to constantly evaluate what her needs are, and act in a way that will help her meet those needs. You know she needs to pursue treatment, you are aware she is weak and unmotivated right now. You know she needs strength-- an extra will---to help move her through until her own will takes over. At that point, she will need a supporter. So... be that extra will... take action, even if she resists it; she will thank you later. You can't do everything for her, but you can do as much as possible to make it
easier for her. Sometimes, it is so bewildering at the beginning that it is hard to know where to start. If you start for her (changing the diet, scheduling appts, acting on research to devise a personalized treatment plan) she may find strength to continue on her own, once she sees the payoff of what you've done.
As long as you are zoomed in on her needs (not just medical, but emotional too!!) and help her meet those needs, you will be an extraordinary positive force in her life. Lead her through it, gently but firmly.
I actually had to do this with my husband. After posting initially on this thread, I realized I wasn't doing for my husband what I wanted him to do for me! (I wasn't following the golden rule...oops). He suffers from high blood pressure, and was (at the time of the post) lazy about his diet, and "forgot" to schedule appts and get meds. Realizing he was just as weak and unmotivated about his high blood pressure as I was about my PCOS, I decided to take action for him. I scheduled him an appt to get checked out. I changed our diet. I told him gently, but firmly, when he on the verge of making poor choices, and I did not bend at all. He struggled the first two weeks, but the last few days he's finally coming around and really owning his health. It is amazing what love in action will do, and I wish I decided to "move" for him much earlier than I did.
But that's just my take... I'd love to see what other women have to say on this.