Hectate, please believe that God is ALWAYS there! Always! When your faith is shaken, tell Him and ask that he strengthen it and BELIEVE that He will. You don't have to have a lot of faith, just enough to believe and He will strengthen it. Meet Him halfway, no, run to Him! I've had 4 pregnancies, no births, and I believe. It's the only life I want to live. God will give you the desires of your heart but you have to believe, be patient and wait on His time. If you have trouble believing, then ask Him to help you believe! It works!
Pray, pray, pray for faith and pray for God to pull you in and He will.
Best wishes to you.
Boo