I used to as well. It became a time where I could have some "alone time" when I just couldn't deal with things anymore. I couldn't cry real tears so the crimson tears took their place. I've been clean for about 7 months now. Some days are really tough and recently I've been getting urges a lot more often but I just gotta fight through them...especially because the only couple of friends that ever knew think i'm fine now...
It's a daily struggle but not one that can't be beat! 
__________________ ~*Emily*~ Double major: EC-2 Ed and Biology Fostering a heart for adoption
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Met 1000mg daily vitamins...when I remember ~~~~~ You'll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else; a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things. |