I'd love to join too. We were matched back in January with a birth mother that we really clicked well with. She let us come to her prenatal visits, everything was all set up, she was 100% certain in her plan. Then, last Monday, the day before the baby was to be born, the baby-daddy (who is incarcerated) convinced/sweet-talked/bullied her into letting his mother take the kid and just like that we were out.
But it didn't stop there. The next morning, a few hours after we knew the baby had been born (scheduled c-section), we got a phone call from our counselor. Her first words were, "are you sitting down?" Well, the baby came out and the birth mother suddenly wasn't sure the baby-daddy was really the baby-daddy. So she decided she couldn't, in good conscience, send the baby with his mother. She called us to the hospital, where we spent over four hours holding the baby and bonding with her, and the mother apologized up one side and down the other for her poor and hasty decision the night before. She asked the agency to begin the legal steps for the adoption and everything was back on.
Next day, I went to the hospital at the time the mother had asked me to be there. I was there for about 5 minutes when the agency person showed up and they needed time alone, so I stepped out. When the counselor stepped out of her room, she basically told me that the mother asked to be left alone to get some sleep and to call her later. So I waited a few hours and called her, and got a really cranky/standoffish vibe from her. Didn't feel good at all. She said she'd call me the next day. However, the next day, the counselor went to see her again, they called baby-daddy together to tell him the kid may not be his, and then the counselor called ME and said "she has chosen to explore other options altogether."
Bam, just like that, two months of planning gone. The room is painted and the crib and bedding are set up, tons of clothes are washed, folded and neatly organized in the dresser, the car seat, stroller and swing were ready to go. When we were matched with her, we had ZERO baby stuff. We (and friends/family) had killed ourselves in the past several weeks buying all this stuff, putting together furniture, painting, etc. And now it's all gone.
We feel like we dodged a bullet in some ways; if she is really that flaky, we don't really want to be dealing with her for the rest of the baby's life anyway. We feel this wasn't our baby, even though it hurts to say, since we did get to bond with her some. So now we are back in the saddle and hopefully will get another match soon. Thanks for listening.
