((hugs)) I think we have all been. I think alot of people are unsure how to act. They say things that are so dum. If getting healthy/loosing weight was so easy dont they we would have already succeeded in it. When it gets to the point that we know its out of control its time to take action. Like you said its about getting healthy not trying to look better. However, looking better is nice too
My best friend had gastric 1 1/2 years before I had lapband. We had always been fat friends & it was kinda hard at first with her loosing so fast & me being the same. Plus, it changed what we did together which was eat! But our relationship was stronger than that & we are fine. Having the surgery changes you & your life alot & it affects the relationships you have with others.
Regardless what surgery you have,just make sure its something you feel comfortable with doing & know its for you.