Our experience with trying to adopt through the state was horrible. We have now filed with an agency and the $20,000 in fees is nothing compared to the pain we endured with the state. Our state is a total train wreck. However, not all states are as bad as ours. Just ask around and then make up your mind. We had many people tell us what would happen, but we didn't listen. Now three years later we still don't have a child, but at least I never have to worry about having another baby ripped from our arms after 6 months of being the only parents they ever knew.
I wouldn't recommend that anybody struggling with TTC doing their first adoption with the state. They have "back up plans", and they don't think it's important to tell you that you are that "back up plan". We found out after our little girl was moved that they knew she was going to another family 2 months before she was born. We didn't know that until a week after she was gone (eight months later). The workers response was "we didn't feel that you needed to know".
I think that if we had went to an agency first, then dealing with the heartbreaks of the foster system wouldn't have devistated us as bad. If we had a child already, we would have been able to move on. However, having nothing and being "the back up plan" when they knew our situation was just devistaing and heartless on their part. We would consider foster/adopt if we decided to adopt again. But, looking back it was just a dumb move to not go to an agency before we fostered. |