usfirefly

hi everybody...
_I am 20 years old now, I was diagnosed with PCOS 2 month ago.. after i skipped some periods and a good friend of mine .. made me go to the doctor...she diagnosed me already with Pcos but send me to the GYN anyways to do the tests for it...

so i got bloodtests and pap and untrasound done.. and everything was normal...

my doctor put me on yasmin or ocella.. and i have been on it for a month and have now my first period (fake) i don´t like the fact that all my hormones are controlled by pills now.. and that i have to swallow pills every day is not a longtime sulution for me either because my insurance doesn´t cover it so i have to by them every month by myself...

i noticed now that they are helping with my facial hair and acne though.. because this week when i am not on the pill it got horrible ... i have acne on every possible piece of skin and my facial hair started growing like no good..
and i got unusual moodswings so bad that i get frusturated about them... besides the pain in every bone in my body and normal pelvicpain... and than beeing tired all the time and having horflashes...

this has just been a crazy week.. and now i am affraid because in 3 weeks its going to be like this all over again...

and than there is that other thing that makes me sad...

i am 20 years old now and i have never even had a date... there has never been anyone interessted in me at all not even in highschool or now... and that makes me feel soo wrong... and now that i got diagnosed i am not any happier and i don´t understand it... i am a little overweight but not so much that i am totally unatractive (at least that is what my friends say...)

since i really want to have my own family some day .. i wish there would be a guy who loves me anyways.. but with the week that i just had ... its hard for me to stand myself... so i don´t blame anybody for hating me...

i just wish there was a diffrent solution but i guess for now that the best...

i am trying to figure life with PCOS out and i am totally failing it at least that is what it feels like...

i always thought that i have a great personallity but the guys don´t think to see that or they are really that focused on the outside...

i am confussed... alone ... and could scream... but that doesn´t help... i have to find a way to life with that.. but having a really hard time seeing the PCOS as a part of me...

well thats it for now...

coments and posts are totally welcome!!!!