Jewels

I agree with everybody who said you need to find out where he's coming from first. I know during our ttc years it was immensely difficult not only on me but on my husband as well. It put strains on our marriage that I never thought would happen. So maybe partially he's just overwhelmed. I think a lot of men feel like their manhood is challenged when we have difficulty conceiving even if it isn't due to their medical condition. So as lovingly as possible find out where he's coming from and really reflect back to him what you hear him saying. I think if you can find some common ground like how hard the ttc stuff has been and really needing a break before even considering adoption it might take some of the pressure off.

If it is a question of his being worried about not being able to love a child that isn't his biological child, simply ask him if he can love you. The answer is always yes we can love others that are not genetically connected to us and what a wonderful thing that is!

Goodluck! You'll get to be a Mommy. It's just a matter of when and how.
Julia

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"To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children...to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED" Ralph Waldo Emerson


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