This may not seem like a lot of help. It sounds like you're doing what you can. Offering her support, love and understanding. Try to remember that there is only so much you can do (I know, easier said than done) - and the only way you can fail her is to refuse to be there for her. You've already done far more than most men would. Not many men would venture into a predominantly female site such as this - for any reason.
Something I've learned over the years, is that sometimes the most you can do is be someone's rock. It can be harder to do because you don't see immediate results, but it's priceless to someone who needs it. You said you can hear her pain in her voice. Try to be strong when you hear it. I don't think I can really explain it well... so, I'll give an example. When I was in labour with my daughter, I got to a point where it hurt so much I cried (and I'm not a crier at all!) I was sure I wouldn't make it through. My husband spent the next half hour telling me how strong, beautiful (yes, that can help), and amazing I was. He cast aside his fears and reassured me that I was able to overcome anything. It wasn't so much that he was complimenting me, it was that he was able to be strong and confident enough for the both of us. I was able to be weak because of his strength - but without feeling like I was being weak.
So, that situation is different, I know. But, it still holds true. Be her strength when she doesn't have it. Be her cheerleader. But most importantly, know that what you can't change for her, you can help her through by being who she needs.
As for the financial - are there free clinics in her area that could offer her help? Sometimes they can find a way for her to seek the proper specialized care without so much cost. I wish you both the best of luck and health. |