PCOS Message Board - View Single Post - How do I approach adopting a family memebers child?

jthoman · 03-31-2009, 10:30 AM

I have a 10 year old cousin. My uncle, her dad, committed suicide last february after he found out he had cancer for the 3rd time. She was really close with her dad. He had a son from a previous marriage whom he never really got to see after age four, so when he had my cousin, she was his little girl. He had been sick off and on since she was one year old. He also had a lot of mental issues.

Her mom had 3 kids by age 19, was married to an abusive man and divorced before her youngest turned 2. That's when she met my uncle. They lived together for quite a while before my cousin was born and got married when she was a year and a half. She was on meds for a long time for depression and it has since come out that she is bi-polar. Her family leaves a lot to be desired and her parents are in poor health, so none of them can help her with my cousin. They never had a lot of money and didn't work regular, they inherited my grandparents house but had to take out a loan for the difference of the inheritance to my mom and aunt. When they moved because the neighbors were complaining too much, they bought a house only a few miles from me. After my uncle died in that house, the kids and such didn't want to go back there and it was going to be foreclosed on eventually. My parents built a house near theirs for her to rent to raise the two younger kids as the other two are over 18. my aunt has already broken many conditions of her lease from my parents and they want to kick her out, but I think something needs to be done for my cousin first.

I'm sure she has no health insurance, there are at least 3 adults living in the house that smoke around her, they don't work on a regular basis, she is around her mom's boyfriend alone I am almost certain (and we don't know him, so who knows what he could do), it's pure chaos. She's been held back in school, and the social security for her is being spent to pay all of the bills for the bums living there. She spends a lot of time with her 19 yo brother who has totaled at least 5 vehicles in the last year. It's only a matter of time before he is in an accident with her. He's also been caught for DUI and lost his job.

Anyway, I think I can provide so much more for her. I've been married for 7+ years, we just had our first baby a little over 7 months ago, we are in the process of building a new home and will have a spare bedroom. She would be going to the same school she had attended all but the last year. She would get so much more attention and guidance and help with her school and just have a more stable family environment. We would put her social security away for her future and not blow it.

How do you think we can approach my aunt about getting custody and what suggestions for a custody agreement can you offer?