I feel the same way, was diganosed after having symptoms which were blown off as "getting old, and just being a woman", until I found more qualified physicians. I have always eaten carefully, as I am diabetic, now I am also insulin dependant due to the arrogance of a doctor. I used to be told I was attractive, but now I have horrible facial hair. It is thick, coarse, and comes back, every three days even with taking metformin, aldactane, simvistatin, and vaniqa.
My weight soared postpartum with my son, and the more I questioned it, the more the incompetent doc dismissed my concerns. As if I were some trival being not worth his time. Now I am stuck in this hypermuscular body, with muscular arms, legs, shoulders, and back, so unfeminine. Worst of all, a horrible protruding belly, and am battling thyroid issues.
Sometimes I get so depressed I want to commit self harm or worse. Then some patronizing asshole comes along and thinks I should just snap out of it. Or that it's not a serious as say, cancer. And I hate myselff for being so ****ing ugly and depressed. I hate people who glibly stuff their face and gain no weight. I watch what I eat and excerscie daily. I used to be happy, happy go lucky, always the life of the party.
People are so damn shallow, men never stopped to ask me what I thought of advancements in mathematics instruction, but they sure as hell thought I was worth
stopping for to discuss my physical attributes. As if I were somehow better, or more worthy, and how they would profess at what a wonderful person I was, when they knew absolutely nothing about me. |